I've been somewhat ranting and raving about how I'm feeling of late and I've had these kind of revelations in the past but only intellectually. I knew many things, ways of acting, of being, but not feeling.
It's all quite new but again I started this post more than a few days ago and things have obviously been happening. I've got a life going on outside this blog you know. Rhian is back in my life and space (both physical and mental). I thought I'd be strong enough to still focus on my recovery but I haven't, I haven't acted on any of my destructive thoughts or behaviors but I haven't been forward in what I have been doing and I'm going to do just that if I can muster the courage to speak. Fear is keeping me from speaking and isolating me from people who are important to me. There has been a bit of a big surprise and I am unsure if it's positive, negative or neutral, remember give time fucking time. So I think I'll do just that and get back to you all with an update when something happens.
I might upload some of my "artwork" along with my next post or in a post n a half.
Take it easy