Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Is this real?

I've been somewhat ranting and raving about how I'm feeling of late and I've had these kind of revelations in the past but only intellectually. I knew many things, ways of acting, of being, but not feeling.

It's all quite new but again I started this post more than a few days ago and things have obviously been happening. I've got a life going on outside this blog you know. Rhian is back in my life and space (both physical and mental). I thought I'd be strong enough to still focus on my recovery but I haven't, I haven't acted on any of my destructive thoughts or behaviors but I haven't been forward in what I have been doing and I'm going to do just that if I can muster the courage to speak. Fear is keeping me from speaking and isolating me from people who are important to me. There has been a bit of a big surprise and I am unsure if it's positive, negative or neutral, remember give time fucking time. So I think I'll do just that and get back to you all with an update when something happens.

I might upload some of my "artwork" along with my next post or in a post n a half.

Take it easy

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